Criticism Is Not Problem Solving

Maria HillEmotional And Mental Health, Social Anxiety2 Comments

Much has been written about criticism and the inner critic. So why another article? It seems to me that we take criticism for granted as an OK thing to do. Perhaps it is our consumer culture run amok. Isn’t complaining how you get something done? Maybe to some but I think we need a rethink about this topic. Does Criticism Really Solve Problems? I don’t think so. Criticism is not problem solving. Criticism often feels intense, but criticism can be deceptive because it feels as if we are doing something when we are criticizing someone or something. However, more often than not we are not really doing anything when we criticize except putting our displeasure on someone else. I am not suggesting that all criticism is a mistake – far from it. Without displeasure and criticism we could not improve and progress. However, all criticism is not equal. In our consumer culture, convenience is an expectation and the absence of it often treated as a problem. This is one  kind of criticism that deserves questioning. Were we promised a convenient world? Criticism And The Need To Be Right Criticism can often feel strange or a little bit unreal. After all, the sun does not rise and judge us. The wind does not criticize us. A red light will not mouth off at us when we are driving through it. So criticism is our personal expression of some sort of disharmony, dissonance or displeasure. Implicit in any criticism or judgment is the thinking that there is a right way to think, be, or do something. This is another form of criticism that deserves questioning. One of the biggest difficulties people have in relinquishing their critical views is that they may feel that their point of view is perfectly reasonable – and … Read More

The Problems You Have To Have…

Maria HillEmotional And Mental Health0 Comments

If you are having the problems you don’t have to have, you are not having the problems that you have to have. It’s a saying I have to remind myself that cluttering up my life with problems that are unnecessary is a great way to not get to the “problems” of growing and creating that I really need. Having the problems I do not have to have is a great way to avoid putting myself out there and it does not feel very good. The Problems Of HSP’s And Their Hidden Advantage Highly sensitive people have a particular set of issues which show up in physical, emotional, mental and spiritual challenges that require mindful attention. HSPs experience a higher level of intensity which requires different life strategies. It can be difficult to handle all the intensity but learning to do so is very rewarding. Every aspect of life for highly sensitive people demands more of them and as a result, HSPs bring more attention to most things they do. That can become an asset. Because of the HSP tendency to sensory overstimulation, they need to manage their lives in such a way that they minimize stress overload. All aspects of life: work, social, family, and management of daily life require careful consideration. This challenge means that a sensitive person can develop greater focus and mindfulness about what they do. Highly sensitive people need to monitor the build up of stresses in their lives. We live in a culture where people are expected to put up with significant amounts of stress, which is often perceived as normal. For HSPs, “normal” stress is a non starter. Unfortunately, HSPs may be treated with disrespect and be perceived as weak because of their need to minimize stress in their lives. This challenge can lead to a need … Read More

Frustration: How It Affects Your Health

Maria HillAyurveda, Physical Health2 Comments

It may not seem obvious. Frustration can adversely affect your health. Please consider the following: you cannot be healthy if your body and being are not getting your needs met. When your needs are being met, you are not frustrated and therefore healthier. You are also more easily funtioning at your highest level. Ideas About Frustration Frustration is a complicated subject and there are many ways of thinking about it: in a capitalistic economic system, the health implicatons of frustration is not well considered. We are expected to frustrate our needs for rest and balanced living in the pursuit of money. frustration can be viewed as a form of caring, when we put someone else’s needs ahead of our own. accepting frustration can be a sign of maturity when we accept an imperfect world, that does not always perform as well as we would like frustration can have political implications, when some people’s needs are served more than others. An example would be the uneven support for the educational needs of all children. spiritual ideas about non-attachment directly deals with problems related to desires and frustration. When we eliminate desires and expectations, we eliminate frustration and the abuse that can come from it. Frustration And Health You could say that we have many conflicting ideas about frustration and therefore it can be difficult to make sense of how to deal with frustration as it relates to our health and well-being. So here are one ideas to consider: frustration to your body’s functioning means that nutrients and oxygen do not reach your cells causing a form of malnutrition. when toxins enter your body and bloodstream they will be distributed throughout your body, impairing the functioning of your cells. when your food is not properly digested it enters the blood stream and … Read More

Create A Successful And Peaceful Work Environment

Ted ZeffPersonal Development, Stress1 Comment

Many specific methods can help create a more peaceful work environment helping the HSP become more successful at their job. Consider which of the suggestions in this section are germane to your workplace and try to incorporate some of the following ideas into your work situation. Make Your Physical Work Environment Beautiful You can listen to calming background music to reduce or eliminate ambient noise at work. Many HSPs have told me that they frequently listen to music, wearing a headset, while some wear earplugs on the job. Put up inspiring pictures of natural settings such as land or seascapes or family pictures. If you are working under fluorescent lights or in an artificial urban setting, gazing at nature will soothe your nerves. It may also help if you bring flowers and plants to your office. Your nervous system will be calmed by inhaling the delicate fragrance of flowers or by gazing at an exquisite bouquet. Surround yourself with the love of pictures of family and friends. Make sure that you have a comfortable chair to sit in throughout the workday so that your muscles are relaxed. You can buy a massage cushion for your chair that will electronically massage your tension away throughout the day. Try to transform the sound of the telephone ringing at work into a relaxation cue. First lower the volume if possible. Let the ringing remind you to relax your muscles, take some slow deep breaths and repeat a mantra such as peace. If possible, don’t answer the phone until the third or fourth ring. Use those few moments to relax deeply. Reduce Stimulation In Your Work Environment It’s a good idea to create a daily work schedule to reduce stimulation, rather than just immediately jumping into a busy workday every morning. When you first … Read More

Are You Suffering From Emergency Mind?

Maria HillEmotional And Mental Health, Energy Healing7 Comments

  When we are afraid everything around us looms large and chaotic. Lately though it seems that fear has become the norm and we are living in a perpetual state of emergency. Perhaps it has always been this way but I am noticing something else at work that needs questioning. Emergencies Are Not Innocent Emergencies have become a way of life for many of us. Notice our entertainment. They are mostly about emergencies. Whether depicting our health care system, focusing on national security, or relationships, many of our movies and television entertainments are based on the idea that life is an emergency. Of course, we have some emergencies – some of the time. However, I think we need to ask why emergencies have become the norm for our lives. It seems to me that we have been suffering from emergency creep for a long time, and now emergencies have reached a critical mass to the point that we may not recognize life without them. Emergencies are not innocent. They take huge amounts of energy and resources. When they occur, they replace any other priorities. A continual state of emergency is a great way to control the social and even political agenda of an individual, family, community and society. The Consequences Of Emergencies When an emergency is over we are often poorer for it. If we have a hospital emergency we certainly understand the enormity of the bill, even if paid by our insurer. When we have major storms, it is obvious how much damage is done to the physical plant of a community and how disruptive it is to the lives of the people affected. It takes no imagination to grasp the horrendous losses created by wars. Occasional major emergencies create small disruptions. Large and continuous emergencies do much more damage: they make it impossible to … Read More

HSPs And The Struggle With Body Image

Kathryn NulfEmotional And Mental Health, Personal Development, Physical Health11 Comments

Growing up highly sensitive can have its disadvantages, for sure. You already know that, and it’s different for each and every HSP. There’s a lot of crossover between us, but we each get to have our very own unique experience. It’s such a journey, right? What I want to talk to you about today is what I would consider one of the more common “crossover” themes that we experience as HSPs: poor body image. More specifically—working on perfecting your body. Self Acceptance And Body Image As an HSP, I have a strong tendency to want to be in control. This way I am not so overwhelmed. A certain degree of control is healthy and good. The control I’m talking about today is when the control goes to a place where we are sacrificing health to be perfect. I’m talking about those of us who feel we need to be a different weight to fit in. I’m talking about the ones who feel like they are struggling on a daily basis with loving their bodies, just as they are. Years ago, before I knew anything about my HSP trait, I was always trying to “get better.” Somehow I landed on using my body image as a way to improve myself. I could not see what was right with me. When I looked in the mirror I focused on every ounce that needed improvement: the scars on my face, the cellulite on my thighs, the bloat in my belly. I set out on a journey to get better quick—because once I got to that magical place surely I would feel less overwhelmed. I truly felt like people were fixated on my every flaw, just as I was. I believed my thoughts (a dangerous habit for HSPs) and even got into the habit … Read More