The Secret Gift Of Being Present

Maria HillEmotional And Mental Health, Energy Healing, Personal Development8 Comments

being present

Being present offers a secret gift. Being present is something we are increasingly exhorted to be – something that identifies us as a good person. It’s a shame because being present has the capacity to offer us so much more. What Does It Mean To Be Present? Being present is the source of all potential goodness in our lives: being present means that we are not living in our heads. Our heads have a way of taking over and running our lives with ideas about life rather than life itself. being present means that this moment is enough. being present means that we are fully awake to everything in our lives. being present means accepting our humanity with all of its faults and imperfections and also the same in others. being present means also accepting our limitations. Another way to say it is that when we are present we are grounded. Why Bother? So why bother? it is a mentally organized world with lots of different ideas about life that seem to have the upper hand making decisions about our lives for us, isn’t it? Being present can means seeing, hearing and feeling the judgments and negativity of the world and that can be painful especially for highly sensitive people. Who wants to drown in all of the injustice and meanness? I know I don’t. There is a part of us that wants to remove ourselves out of self preservation to a place with less conflict, meanness and pain. I expect that we all have that desire. Being Present Isn’t A Time Being present is often treated as a form of time but it is really more a type of space. The past and future really do not exist. They are fictions of our minds. They occupy mental space but … Read More

Creating Harmony: When Not To Try And Make It Work

Maria HillPersonal Development, Social Smarts15 Comments

I like harmony. I suspect that many HSPs do. Harmony to me is important because at its best it tells us that we are making effective choices. At its worst, we are keeping a destructive peace. Which is operating in your life? Why Is Harmony So Elusive? I have often wondered why harmony is so elusive. As a young girl, there was so much acrimony around me that I would scratch my head until it bled. I found it so upsetting. All the conflict and misery also seemed very unnecessary. I did not get it. My parents grew up during the depression and World War II, so perhaps that explains some of it. If you grow up during a war, war can become your reality and it certainly seemed that war was their reality. But I ended up thinking that their childhood spent in war was not the total answer. Sensitivity And Conflict I pick up on conflict easily. I also find it uncomfortable since often what causes conflict are unresolved past issues, denial, expectations – in other words, the issues and problems people do not want to see or engage about. Like many HSPs, I can absorb the unhappiness around me, and it brings me down. I often do not know what to do with my awareness but know I do not want to cause harm. That is important to me. However, if I encounter a conflict or unresolved problem and say nothing then I have a problem with myself. At the end of the day I have to be able to feel that I have made good choices to be square with myself. Being sensitive sometimes means that I feel caught between a rock and a hard place. I live in the spaces between thoughts and actions, intentions … Read More

The Value Of Mistakes

Maria HillCreativity, Personal Development6 Comments

mistakes

Mistakes are a no-no, even a taboo. That is unfortunate because they are very important and necessary. Without errors, you cannot be in touch with and claim your own power. Embracing failure is important if you want to come into your own as an HSP. The Hidden Benefit Of Mistakes According to Robert Fritz, author of the Path of Least Resistance and Creating, the creative process can be divided into three large phases: the idea or germination the development of the idea from concept to completion releasing the result Although we can make mistakes at any time and step of the process, errors are most valuable when we are in the development phase. Failure are an important part of the trial and error process that lets us engage with an idea and reality. They tell us when something is not working so that we can consider what to change. It is through failure not only that we learn, but also that we develop mastery over a subject. Errors are our path to our power and effectiveness in the world. How Mistakes Can Seem Like A Bad Idea Mistakes can seem like a bad idea, particularly to highly sensitive people. We do not like the negative feedback and we feel terrible when we have done harm to others. Our natural gifts can make it difficult for us to want to take any chances. Since we are often misperceived and misunderstood and our insights dismissed, it can seem as if we are taking big risks whenever we move forward. The Baggage Of Mistakes There are many misconceptions about mistakes that can create problems for us: mistakes are a matter of life and death. For early humans, mistakes may indeed have been a matter of life and death. However, those days are long … Read More

Embrace Your Inner Troublemaker!

Maria HillEmotional And Mental Health, Personal Development, Stress6 Comments

troublemaker

Being a troublemaker is not something we necessarily associate with highly sensitive people, those gentle souls who are loath to hurt others. The label, troublemaker, is not something that we usually generate for ourselves either. It is usually conferred by others when they encounter something uncomfortable in themselves courtesy of another person. Have you ever been called a troublemaker or treated like one? Highly Sensitive And A Troublemaker? Highly sensitive people are usually very conscientious, cautious, perceptive and empathetic. Highly sensitive people often see what others cannot because they operate from an atypical perceptual reality. When people think differently, many assume that is is an ideological difference that is being expressed. In the case of HSPs, however, what is being expressed is a biological difference. Highly sensitive people have nervous systems that absorb all the stimulus and energy around them. Their nervous systems are like sponges, which makes them uncomfortable and other people as well. Highly sensitive people notice when someone is uncomfortable, sad or angry no matter how much someone attempts to hide their feelings. They notice when something is not working very well, differences in perception and reality, mistakes of judgment and an other energetic event. Highly sensitive people necessarily have values that support their sensitive natures including kindness and fairness. They are able to see the pitfalls in a competitive social structure and are unlikely to support the destructive aspects of it. People who do not understand the highly sensitive nature may feel uncomfortable around HSPs and even think of them as troublemakers. Characteristics Of Troublemakers Why would anyone be labeled a troublemaker? Aren’t we all in this together? The label suggests that there is something to protect against. It suggests that the group is dependent on the existence of certain behaviors, beliefs and ideas to sustain … Read More

How To Stop Absorbing Other People’s Energy

Mary Kay ParkinsonEmotional And Mental Health, Energy Healing11 Comments

other people's energy

  HSPs frequently ask me how to protect themselves from other people’s energy.  I always tell them that there is no quick and easy answer. People are frequently looking for a shield or want to learn how to create an energy bubble.  The truth is, if you know your own issues, then other people’s issues can’t stay attached to you, or not for long.  You need to do your personal work. For me, that personal work involved many years of therapy.  I loved this process because as an HSP I enjoy looking inside and sorting out what I find.  I had been depressed for most of my life until I took the time to go through this deep inner process that helped to clarify and reframe my issues and experiences.  Out of that inner work I developed a deep capacity to protect myself through being centered in myself and therefore naturally knowing (or being able to sort out) what belongs to me and what belongs to someone else.  I also grew to love myself and my sensitivity, as well as trust in my own heart to guide me. Inner Work Will Help You To Stop Absorbing Other People’s Energy Recently I saw an exceptional video by Ralph Smart on how to stop absorbing other people’s energy. Have a look! He gave the best answer to “How to stop absorbing other people’s energy” that I have ever heard.  I like his video because he doesn’t try to oversimplify the process, and yet gets right to the heart of the core issues involved, including loving yourself.   And here is a summary of what Ralph has to say: Remember you can’t please everyone.  Accept that not everyone is going to like you.  Once you get past that, then you can stop absorbing … Read More

Love Your Defenses!

Maria HillEmotional And Mental Health, Personal Development0 Comments

So many defenses. I feel like my life is often about bumping into defenses of one kind or another. Dealing with defenses feels like walking through a field of hay.  With each step you meet  a new stalk(defense) that obscures your vision and parts as you walk only to reveal a new defense. Often the defenses I bump into are the defenses of other people. I dislike bumping into them because in doing so the relationships changes – often not for the better. When defenses show themselves, the relationship door usually closes even if only for a moment and we realize we are not welcome. That happens to highly sensitive people a lot. Of course, sometime defenses are our own because we get hurt and our healing is not easy. What Are Defense Mechanisms? According to Dictionary, a defense mechanism is an unconscious process, like denial, that protects an individual from unacceptable or painful ideas or impulses. Defenses are a way for us to: like ourselves in painful circumstances make sense of something that does not work for us  taking care of ourselves. Defenses can sometime be a kind of denial. Denial has a bad reputation because it is interpreted to mean that there is something wrong with you, that your are too weak to face the truth about something. Denial like all defenses are often meant to protect us from a shock to our systems, and sense of loss that we are unable to process and handle. Defenses Can Create A Healing Space I respect defenses even if I consider them to be toxic sometimes; I understand that they have a purpose. In the case of people who have suffered a serious trauma they can be life saving by creating a space for the healing process. I don’t think anyone should be denied their healing space. We highly sensitive people are often harmed, … Read More