Overcoming The Need To Please

Maria HillEmotional And Mental Health, Personal Development16 Comments

Highly sensitive people have many ways of handling their nature and the overwhelm that they experience. Being different means that relationships are often difficult for us. We often feel at a disadvantage in relationships feeling one down because we feel disrespected. There are many reasons for this. Our compassionate non-competitive natures seek mutuality in a one-upsmanship world which does not respect our kindness. So we often want the respect we deserve but cannot claim. So we seek ways to achieve social acceptance. Pleasing is one of those ways. Do You Feel The Need To Please? The need to please comes from our need to establish and maintain the interpersonal bridge with others. there are many ways that the interpersonal bridge is created and sustained. Most of the time there is some kind of shared experience or other kind of bond created through: blood relationships being neighbors school and school activities shared interests work community activities shared values shared life experiences Highly sensitive people have trouble with the interpersonal bridge because often their values are different from those around them and also because they are different and experience most things differently it is hard for them to bond over shared experiences. Many times HSPs are loners but not by choice. The weakness of the interpersonal bridge is something that we live with each day and it is often a source of feelings of vulnerability. We do not fit in and know it. We suspect therefore that we are unwelcome. Coming To Terms With The Challenges Of Being Different Being different does not necessarily mean that we are unwelcome. Humans are notorious for comparing themselves to each other so we may remind others of undeveloped aspects of themselves and in that way create feelings of discomfort. That is not our fault but … Read More

10 Ways Highly Sensitive People Turn Sensitivities Into Advantages

Nicole TaffsThe HSP Trait7 Comments

  It can take years to figure out if we are a highly sensitive person. The world doesn’t talk much about this type of person. There isn’t a lot of information out there on the topic. Even when discovering helpful information, we often have to be really suffering before profound and life changing information can sink in deeply. There is no need for suffering though. We can learn how to turn our sensitivities into advantages and live the life that we have always wanted. Equal Opportunity Emotions Being highly sensitive doesn’t just mean that our feelings get hurt very easily, though majority of the population would define or explain highly sensitive people that way. It does mean that sensitive people experience emotion on a very deep level, with more intensity than the average person. Not just negative emotions such as sadness or anger, but also amazing emotions like joy and happiness. We don’t just experience emotion as a state of mind either. We feel specific emotions in specific parts of their bodies. For instance, anger can feel like a tight knot in our solar plexus. Love can make our chest open up like a flower. Feeling scared can make our root chakra constrict and close up. How’s that for sensitive? It can definitely be overwhelming at times. Not only is emotion felt more intensely as a highly sensitive person, but the whole world is perceived and processed on a deeper level. Going through the world as a highly sensitive person can be very challenging. Especially if we haven’t figured out that we are in fact a highly sensitive person. We might wonder why it seems that other people have an easier time than us. Or wonder why we seem to be more emotional than most. Perhaps we feel fatigued or … Read More

Why We Need Highly Sensitive People Now

Maria HillThe HSP Trait12 Comments

Why do we need the highly sensitive person now? Are we seeing a renewed interest and dare I say respect for the sensitives of the world? Conditions Are Everything Conditions are everything. We are culturally bound which means that it is easy to lose sight of how other conditions may be changing. Right now we are seeing a perfect example of a disconnect between human cultural systems and world conditions. Human cultural systems are digging in their heels in order to maintain the status quo, while the reality of deteriorating global conditions continues its significant harm to the environment, humans and other living creatures on the planet. So perhaps  the concept of “mind over matter” – or left-brained linear thinking – has its limits although we do not seem willing to concede the point. So many cultures have come and gone because they disrespected the underlying conditions that supported them. Jared Diamond has written about this topic in his book, Collapse. Too often cultures become inflexible putting themselves at risk. HSP’s can help with that. Highly Sensitive People Notice Conditions Highly sensitive people are masters of nuance. They sense everything and notice when something is not working. Their nervous systems pick up all sensory information around them. HSP’s nervous systems are somewhat like a lightening rod or an advance warning system. The highly sensitive person can tell when something is wrong when others do not see it. Highly sensitive people pick up all sorts of signals from their environment: sound visual tactile psychic energetic if there is a signal or sensory information of some sort, HSP’s receive it. What The Highly Sensitive Person Does With What They Notice Highly sensitive people can become overwhelmed by the information they take in from our overstimulated and highly complex culture. And for many … Read More

Unwrapping the Gift of Our Sensitivity

Edward BonapartianEmotional And Mental Health, Personal Development, The HSP Trait6 Comments

I was driving home from work when my cell phone beeped notifying me I had received a text from Angie, a close friend whom I’d been teaching intuitive awareness for the past year. Without looking at my phone, I knew it was a request to call her; usually, a sign that life was giving her another lesson and one she wanted to discuss. One thing about highly sensitive people is that we spot each other in a heartbeat. I met Angie during an impromptu intuition workshop I had held while visiting a friend in another state, and when talking with her and her husband I could feel what a highly sensitive person she was. Outgoing by nature, Angie had a deep desire to work with people as a healer. Her husband’s energy, on the other hand, went to the other extreme. He had no interest in intuition and my efforts to share tips on using intuition in a business setting fell on deaf ears. Eventually, he grew fidgety and impatient; insisting they leave early during a break to attend a home show. Watching them walk away, I saw Angie look over her shoulder at me; although she didn’t say anything there was a pleading in her eyes which left a lingering impression in my thoughts. In the days which followed, I had a gut feeling that there was something important being conveyed through her expression. Since I gain intuitive information through a person’s eyes and always trust my gut feelings, I sent a message through a mutual friend for Angie to call me if she needed to talk. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, her call would be the start of a friendship which would be a learning experience for us both. Early in that first phone call as Angie shared her thoughts with me, I realized that … Read More

Telltale Signs You Are A Highly Sensitive Person

Maria HillThe HSP Trait22 Comments

Do you like solitary pursuits? Do you get overhelmed easily? Do you hate small talk? Even if you do, how do you know you are a highly sensitive person? Traits Of The Highly Sensitive Person Highly sensitive people get the sense at a young age that they are different. They don’t fit in. They are not interested in the same things that other people are interested in. They are not motivated in the same way. This profound sense of being different is life long. It does not go away, and can cause pain when the sensitive’s differentness is treated badly by family, peers, and early authority figures. There are many reasons that the highly sensitive person will get the message that they are different: physical sensitivities like loud sounds, too much noise, light and tactile or touch sensitivity may cause discomfort or pain, which is not necessarily true of non-HSP’s. a highly sensitive person often needs time to themselves to rest after interacting with others. Non-HSP’s often recgarge with other people. social interaction can be draining unless it is for a short time, with a few people in a quiet setting. Non-HSP’s are more comfortable with big noisy social engagements. the highly sensitive person hates small talk, something that non-HSP’s thrive on. competition and the highly sensitive person are like oil and water. Non-HSP’s are more comfortable with competition. highly sensitive people are sensitive to the feelings of others and have a tendency to absorb the feelings of others causing much discomfort and unhappiness. HSP’s are known for their empathy. Empathy in sensitives is more than a feeling for others – it is an active way of knowing the world . HSP’s are right-brained. Non-HSP’s are more left-brained and  analytical. HSP’s can have strong psychic and intuitive abilities. HSP’s dislike … Read More

31 Important Websites For Highly Sensitive People

Maria HillThe HSP Trait9 Comments

Have you noticed the increased interest in introverts and sensitive people? In 1996, Dr. Elaine Aron published her groundbreaking book, The Highly Sensitive Person, opening a door that could not be kept closed any longer. Highly sensitive people have been treated as if there is something wrong with them for a long time, when in fact, they are among the most caring, conscientious and creative people on the planet. As the downsides of our current cultural model become increasingly apparent and the need for serious change becomes more accepted,  many people will be seeking a different perspective, new skills and even an adjustment in values. If there is one thing that sensitive people have, it is a different perspective. They also have a compassionate view, which is what is needed during times of change – challenging periods which are usually hard for everyone. Here is a list of some of the important websites and blogs that can help you discover more about this important human trait, whether you are highly sensitive or know someone who is. How to Learn about Highly Sensitive People There are many wonderful and important websites offering information on the sensitive person. This list, however, includes only websites dedicated to the sensitive person. They are listed in alphabetical order. Because many cover a wide range of topic related to HSP’s I have created a legend so you know what each website offers information on: T: trait  B: blog  W: work and career  H: health R: resources A: author C: coaching David Ritchey  Author David Ritchey spent 12 years researching people with transpersonal experiences which resulted in his book, The H.I.S.S. of the A.S.P. This carefully researched book is important for highly sensitive people since it details the many ways in which the highly sensitive trait can manifest. … Read More