Freedom Is Its Own Reward

Maria HillEmotional And Mental Health, Personal Development0 Comments

Who doesn’t want freedom? After all, freedom is such a wonderful sounding word. I think there is a lot of confusion about freedom so I thought it was worth some discussion. What Is Freedom? Merriam Webster has a fairly complete answer to what freedom is: 1 :  the quality or state of being free: as a :  the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action b :  liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence c :  the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous <freedom from care> d :  ease, facility <spoke the language with freedom> e :  the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken <answered with freedom> f :  improper familiarity g :  boldness of conception or execution h :  unrestricted use <gave him the freedom of their home> 2 a :  a political right b :  franchise, privilege Freedom, then, can be categorized as a function of agency, status and receptivity as in being open to new ideas.  What Gets In The Way Of Freedom? Why is freedom so illusive? Even in the “free world” many people do not feel free. There can be many reasons for this since we are all somewhat different from each other and have differences in experience and capacity. Whether you are highly sensitive or not, you may have experienced freedom or the lack of it. As the definition shows, freedom is both an external state and an internal one as well. We have all heard of people who have external freedom who are unhappy and lack inner freedom. And the opposite as well, individuals without the status of freedom who find inner sources of freedom. But this is not a lecture about spirituality and letting go and all of … Read More

Why Insecurity Is The First Step To Confidence

Nicole TaffsPersonal Development1 Comment

What is it about insecurity that makes us so uncomfortable? Why do most of us pretend we don’t have insecurities, or even worse, suppress them? While it is common to deny insecurity, we must be aware of the drastic consequences of doing so. The very act of pushing something down automatically creates resistance. It takes a great amount of energy to push down our insecurities. Not just physical energy, but mental and emotional energy as well. Any person or situation has the potential to trigger these emotions and it is inevitable that they will rise to the surface. At this point, we must decide if we want to keep building upon these insecurities, or if we want to face them once and for all. Insecurity Is Hidden Opportunity Our insecurities are really just hidden opportunities. We must look at them as clues. Clues that pinpoint suppressed parts of ourselves that need attention. The next time we find an insecurity has been triggered, we must remember that an opportunity has presented itself. This is our chance to focus on those parts of ourselves that have been neglected for years. When we do this, we are choosing to evolve. We are declaring to the world, and to ourselves, we are no longer satisfied with status quo. This is a chance to grow into the best possible version of our self.  Why We Suppress Emotions There are two reasons we suppress uncomfortable emotions. We will discover the second reason later on but the first reason is this-it doesn’t feel good. That’s it! It’s really that simple. What makes us so hesitant to confront insecurity then? Can’t we tolerate a small dose of feeling bad? Well, there’s something interesting that happens when we consistently avoid something. We convince ourselves that what we are avoiding … Read More

Are These Energy Vampires Messing With You?

Maria HillEmotional And Mental Health2 Comments

Have you felt your energy go down when someone enters the room? Are there certain people that you avoid – perhaps even family members – because you feel bad when you are around them? Meet The Energy Vampires! When we think of vampires, Halloween often comes to mind. However, these vampires never go off duty, never take a vacation or a holiday. And you need to watch out for them. The Complainers.  The energy draining feeling from complainers can sneak up on you. It is easy to be taken in by them.  Sometimes they will complain about something that you dislike as much as they do so you won’t realize that you are being drained.  Life for a complainer is one long pity party. Being supportive of an individual going through a hard time is an act of friendship. Unfortunately with the complainer the hard times never stop. After a while you may wonder if some of their hard times are self-created. One way to know if you are dealing with an energy vampire rather than a person having a bad day is to suggest solutions. Complaining vampires don’t want their problems solved. If they were they would no longer have such an easy way to be the center of attention. The Non-Stop Talker. Non-stop talkers have a desperate quality to them. They often seem afraid of what would happen if they stopped talking or let someone else have the floor. The non-stop talker probably had to resort to extreme measures to get attention when he or she was a child – or may have been the designated family entertainer. Unfortunately. a winning childhood strategy is often a poor choice for adults, and can end up feeling used and depleted listening to a non-stop talker who has no interest in … Read More

Trust And The Highly Sensitive Person

Maria HillEmotional And Mental Health, Personal Development0 Comments

Because we are all vulnerable, trust is one of the most important issues for human beings and especially for highly sensitive people who have a lot of awareness from all of the energy they take in. What Is Trust? According to the Free Dictionary, trust has many different faces. It is: about individual behavior and character as in the reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. about expectations: confident expectation of something or confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received about beliefs: one upon which a person relies: God is my trust. about keeping confidences: being entrusted with information, or valuables of some kind about position: the obligation or responsibility imposed on a person in whom confidence or authority is placed: a position of trust. a position in which trust is necessary and assumed: the fiduciary relationship of trustee or the legal structure that protects property of some kind. commercial organizations set up to create monopolies (now illegal). Trust, therefore, serves many functions: it is an act of friendship. When we consider the needs of others we are acting to create social trust through friendship. it means we can be accepted and heard. Trust is a vote for the good in ourselves, others and life. When we see and believe in the good we are more open to ourselves and others. trust helps us develop confidence in ourselves. When we learn we develop skills and as a result are able to believe in ourselves. When we discover that we can learn one skill, we know that we can learn another skill and so our confidence grows. it is social glue that makes it easier for people to work and live together it can promote prosperity when institutions and businesses are trustworthy because it means … Read More

What Our Emotions Are Trying To Tell Us

Ritu KaushalEmotional And Mental Health, Personal Development, Stress2 Comments

As a sensitive person, I am often caught up in the rip-tide of my feelings. They sweep me up. They leave me gasping for air. They throw me on the shore, battered and bruised. Because they can be overwhelming, I have been wanting to get to the heart of my emotional life. Why do I relate to my feelings the way I do? How can I express them in a healthy way? How can I emotionally self-regulate? Maybe, you, like me, are in this place as well. After all, it’s natural that in a world like ours, where we are never taught about emotions, we often end up with only about half the tools we need. As I have worked to better relate to my emotions, I have learnt some things that might help you as well. They might give you some missing pieces for your own puzzle. Here are some clues to help decipher what your emotions are trying, so desperately, to convey to you. The Clues In Emotions Every emotion has a function, even the so-called negative ones.   Many of us have been exposed to a harmful unleashing of powerful emotions. Think back to how anger was modeled for you. It’s very likely that it only showed up in its destructive form. Because we bore witness to this destruction, we might have started avoiding anger altogether. But all emotions, even the so-called negative ones, come bearing important messages. Karla McLaren talks about this eloquently in her wonderful book The Language of Emotions. She tells us how deep-seated beliefs about “negative emotions” make us lose touch with the very power that could liberate us. Since many of us avoid anger at all costs, we forget about the critical role that anger can play. Without it, we wouldn’t know … Read More

HSPs And Developing Self-Compassion

Ritu KaushalEmotional And Mental Health, Personal Development17 Comments

If you are someone like me, you know that are you are sensitive, and yet, you often struggle to integrate this knowledge in your life. If you are someone like me, you also have an incessant voice in your head that keeps on discounting the little onward steps that you are taking. It feels really hard to extend yourself the same compassion that you can extend to others. It’s very easy to get impatient with yourself as you try to make changes. It’s only lately that I have started developing more compassion for myself in this process. I have started seeing that my hesitant, baby steps are part of my larger journey. I have started understanding why I have such problems with giving myself what I need. The Challenge Of Self-Compassion So, why is self-compassion such hard work for so many of us? Sonia Connolly discusses this struggle in her lovely book Wellspring of Compassion: “Self-care can sound like an obligation, one more item on a long to-do list. Self-care can sound like abandonment if we were emotionally or physically neglected as children and still long for someone to rescue us. Self-care can sound selfish, self-indulgent, or forbidden when we are accustomed to caring for others first.” Just being aware of these dynamics can help us immensely. We might have unmet needs for love and belonging that are not getting satisfied. We might still be holding on to the hope for some outside redemption. We might be looking at other people and envying them their ability to take care of themselves while forgetting how hard it is to give yourself what you haven’t received. Maybe the first step in developing more self-compassion is suspending judgment about how well we are doing self-care. Maybe it’s about having patience with the parts … Read More